It's been so long so long since someone took advantage of me the bibliophile meets the humaniphile the fascicle fauna match her prints floral she's fragrant persuasive with pansophy I'm the pansy with paisley she bites more than the corner of her lip more than my fear of the grand manipulator causality with discourse drowning of course rankled ruined ruins of polaroid stacks unkempt she wipes the whiteboard clean she marks with nails so sharp to a point defined to make her point clear ever ready to revise our us an au pair poised to bathe in perdition an anything to disprove my mortal condition a spine to snap to clasp to clap as it shatters sheets of vertebrae powdered through mortal and pestle pestilential grin prelude to a smile so sick so thin I shout stop accosting my woman she sighs I'm no ones I'm something different than I catch my caricature in stained glass like a cold the second snow sets on my splintered frigid porch stupid broken stems surround my parking stall and nails too nails that know they fucking know how to ruin my goddamn day every day in exciting new creative ways inciting sores in my longstanding efforts itching so I'm picking and you bet it fucking hurts a phone call from a number local I'm having trouble reconciling I'm scared I'm dying do I deserve to die?

As I bounced through the parked left heel spring roaring forward until the digits flex and release right heel spring angled slightly to waddle with power and as as I bounced I broke I teared up rear my sunglasses I spoke to God in my head God as real as God could ever be do you do these things to me because I am a bad person or am I doing bad things to everyone in my life because you do these things to me am I supposed to rise above push on through skate on by and for God's sake boy you can cry am I supposed to learn something from this or am I just supposed to lay down and die I'm rotting before my own eyes and my reflection's wrought with bags bruised beneath a brow burned by radiation and hair thinning it this an indication that despite my respire is harmless my flaws flaccid is this you telling me to stop pushing your inviting buttons that just because The Bear is a bully and I brought maple red boxing gloves that the brawl must commence despite my lack of reach and our substantial weight difference The Bear paw claws behind my jaw and my tempomandibular joint frees proving Your stupid point and the cheek it's flowing flapping and the fur on my face is that of the bear as well but my fur is far from holy and The Bear's fur sure is for sure I'm told it's the word of Christ he is righteous and he is right God what if I'm right in how I live God what if you aren't out there who am I supposed to blame for this but me I know Satan is real his shadow stains my travels but I don't know if you are around if you ever if you are I apologize for being ungrateful but far from out of fear I apologize for few things I'm sure you know but I apologize for lashing out at everyone who's actually listening my key finds the lock turns the latch and the backpack thuds in the back the heat dial is drummed up to hotter than comfortable my brow sits atop the steering wheel and my bearded chin touches the face but just I leave the engine on and shut my thought off off for the first time since I learned a single thing ever I relearn how to cry but not from my eyes from my heart and it's dismal future I don't cry from the brain my eyes my response to residual collateral stimuli I don't cry that way because it's not facing reality it's not facing reality it's token tchotchke and superficial in the most serious of ways the gas runs out my pathfinders dies it sighs how long until I run out?

Cooking chocolate shocks my stained fingers rich but they're empty once they grasped you but even then they bruised bold like my lips when I flap them at the wrong folks like when I kissed you on fire trying to put out your flame so I could claim your coal as mine stoke it with sex but secure it fine finger the fret that came first to keep from frightful fretting I slip to open to snake into you and I I never had to lie to you no teaser trailer just me just my want water-colour waning moon muttering critiques at me whipping reality reckless justice maybe steel strings drive the rich chocolate like a drunk driver within my ribcage dull that pulse pull prodding and provoking inciting inception of a loosened grip my hands haven't gripped so well in so long but this ache in my head my hands my heart it hurts it just hurts so much more than it mirrored in joy but maybe I just forget the good in my life maybe the makes it easier when I lose it I grip with calloused chocolate chambers loaded with ill thoughts and I tear tear off my steering wheel but even even then the airbag won't go but you did it won't deploy and it needs to it's clotted rorschach blotted and my beat black lip bubbles to a boil like it ought to blurt something anything like I had a say at some point perhaps I did but I'm too sensitive to note these things that coddle my cretin ectype carbon ghosting of a shell of something selfless yawning pitched brogue below a low-verb lake bubbles that bloom from my drowning from my non-negotiable frowning my faulty wiring but I suspect I'm at fault at fault for never finishing first at fault for myself and my frozen efforts even my misdirected meaning my gargantuan intentions rooted outside of greed in my mother's garden sweet potatoes and sweet peas and when I broke from my pod shells out into me I broke the bottle and I broke my brother I broke everything with my razored teeth serrated gravest of sharks I slunk into myself and I'm sinking into me a me that won't agree I'm further than ever from free and you're further than ever from me your teeth trace outlines in my shoulder dulling blades and breaking backs gravest of sharks seeking chocolate stained hearts meet each other only in the densest depths of the dark gravest of sharks meet only in the densest depths of the dark I broke into me

Resound, raglan, billowing sounds from the wind resound cognition chaste soured by ire indigenous antiquated texts mediate my perception ringing prayers enlighten I to a true exception raglan skin suit tucked into skirts bone drying scraping edged on edge pin pricked tingling at the tips psychotic I fear you're misinformed miss mysterious moulting reason bolting dead bolt mould nose smashed in logic leaping from synapse to surreality raglan skin suit tucked into skirts bone drying scraping edged on edge pin pricked tingling at the tips psychotic open jaw wide shear the cheeks snip the tongue snip the tongue