As I bounced through the parked left heel spring roaring forward until the digits flex and release right heel spring angled slightly to waddle with power and as as I bounced I broke I teared up rear my sunglasses I spoke to God in my head God as real as God could ever be do you do these things to me because I am a bad person or am I doing bad things to everyone in my life because you do these things to me am I supposed to rise above push on through skate on by and for God's sake boy you can cry am I supposed to learn something from this or am I just supposed to lay down and die I'm rotting before my own eyes and my reflection's wrought with bags bruised beneath a brow burned by radiation and hair thinning it this an indication that despite my respire is harmless my flaws flaccid is this you telling me to stop pushing your inviting buttons that just because The Bear is a bully and I brought maple red boxing gloves that the brawl must commence despite my lack of reach and our substantial weight difference The Bear paw claws behind my jaw and my tempomandibular joint frees proving Your stupid point and the cheek it's flowing flapping and the fur on my face is that of the bear as well but my fur is far from holy and The Bear's fur sure is for sure I'm told it's the word of Christ he is righteous and he is right God what if I'm right in how I live God what if you aren't out there who am I supposed to blame for this but me I know Satan is real his shadow stains my travels but I don't know if you are around if you ever if you are I apologize for being ungrateful but far from out of fear I apologize for few things I'm sure you know but I apologize for lashing out at everyone who's actually listening my key finds the lock turns the latch and the backpack thuds in the back the heat dial is drummed up to hotter than comfortable my brow sits atop the steering wheel and my bearded chin touches the face but just I leave the engine on and shut my thought off off for the first time since I learned a single thing ever I relearn how to cry but not from my eyes from my heart and it's dismal future I don't cry from the brain my eyes my response to residual collateral stimuli I don't cry that way because it's not facing reality it's not facing reality it's token tchotchke and superficial in the most serious of ways the gas runs out my pathfinders dies it sighs how long until I run out?